Making a Movie is Painfully Frustrating.

So, I'm making a movie. No, there's absolutely nothing above this sentence that might have informed you of that prior to this very moment.

Now, the reason this is so frustrating, is that just about every aspect of planning this film has just whipped its metaphorical genitalia out and began slapping me in the face with it. This film is a modern testament to Murphy's Law in just about every aspect.

First, we need money. Now, we always seem to think we have a doable budget for just about everything, we always say we're going to build original sets, buy costumes, better equipment, and make it a big, fancy production. How ever, I can't think of a single time any of that happened. We just about always pull out the bare minimum from the back of our closets just so we can wipe off our shoulders and say "Well, we got it over with. Next time will be a really good project." and the cycle continues. How are we going to get money? Well, I think it's obvious. I'm going to have to get a job and do it myself.

Now, that shouldn't be too hard, right? Get a job, get money, do what you want! Well, that's not entirely so easy.

I've noticed with jobs, you basically have three things.

1. Time.
2. Money.
3. Sleep.

You can only pick two. And all three are required for adequate film making.

Now, you may be asking, "Well, surely there are ways around it, aren't there? I mean, there's millions of movies that exist in the world..." Yes, there are ways around it. And it's called movie making BEING your job. But with a full time job AND making movies, well that's damn near impossible.

Now, I'm afraid I'll never find the time to make this movie. But I'd obviously have days off from time to time. However, what are the odds that all the actors will have the same days off? And there's no way we can take some vacation time and film an entire movie in a week. And even so, it would take about a year to do it.

So, I would have little time, and we'd never be able to meet up on the same days.

Also, I wrote the script myself. And literally not one. other. person. in. existence will read it. I had people eagerly awaiting it, and I've sent it to multiple people, and no one will read it and tell me what they think. So, I'm afraid we'll wait until the very last day and read the script AS we film or something, then someone's going to be like "Dude... The script sucks..." or something, and I won't have time to change it because everyone waited too long to tell me about it.

Also, as most of you know, I live in a different city than all of my friends. I live about an hour away from Hutchinson (My hometown, where everyone lives.). So, it's doable distance wise, and I can get a ride there if I need one, but only for like... An hour because my Dad would basically be hanging out at his Mom's house until I was ready to leave, and he wouldn't want to sit there and watch TV for eight hours. Now, I keep getting a roommate and we would plan to move in together. But something always happens. One of them hurt me and I can't bring myself to live with them, one of them suddenly doesn't want to anymore, and one just never gets around to talking to me, so I eventually assumed it was off. So, I have no idea how it's going to happen. And I need to be in Hutchinson long enough to plan with the actors and co-director. So, I need to actually reside in the town, not just visit for a couple of days.

And to top all of this off, I'm constantly afraid that all of this frustration, anger, excitement, effort, and obsessing is going to be wasted some day. I'm afraid this whole project will see the day where I've done just enough work to go insane, but just little enough for it to be scrappable. Then it actually becomes scrapped. Why wouldn't it? Everyone says it won't, but I'm not falling for it. Less difficult projects than this get cancelled in our group every month. Why would this (The second most difficult project I've ever been a part of) be the one that's spared? The only project that was more stressful than this was a Batman show we were designing. And it got scrapped.

So, I'm angered, depressed, excited, nervous, FRRUUUSSSTTRRAATTTEEEDDD, and confused by this whole process.

If you have any insight, for THE LOVE OF GOD, give me some input in the comments. Thanks.

-TCGodd